She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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