wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Randomize
