ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
She's not a foreskin expert like you
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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