Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
