we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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