you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
