So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize