so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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