this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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