9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
