shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
