Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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