i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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