I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
