Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
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