I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
