You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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