I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
