Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
