Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Randomize
