Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
