Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
