I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Randomize
