Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I have demons in me.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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