I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
