I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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