who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize