you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
