Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize