$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
