WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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