I didn't shave. On purpose
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Randomize
