I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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