I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
whose parrot is this?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize