i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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