...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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