Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
