the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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