You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
