i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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