who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize