the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
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