I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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