I don't remember. Are we still dating?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
We had sex on a dog bed..
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
