What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
