He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
its liver damage thursday
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
