The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
