everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
