so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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