Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
