Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Randomize
