Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
