Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
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