Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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