Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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