We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
He kissed a someone with a penis
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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