so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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