his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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