i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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