why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
