And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
