I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
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