my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize