do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
