Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
When did angry sex become our thing?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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