i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
