Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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