a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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