New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
