Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
