you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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